just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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