Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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