I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
