now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
