is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
