So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
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