You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
