ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
