Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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