Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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