Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Of course I have a pirate flag
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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