In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
