I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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