Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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