Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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