Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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