I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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