if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
