I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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