Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
not ubering you a puppy
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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