used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize