it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
