In the future we'll all be gay
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
