i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
