Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize