Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
