I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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