then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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