ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
