Don't you send me to vm
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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