He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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