I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
