FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
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I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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