Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We're too hungover to prance.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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