Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
