Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize