Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
