Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The Olympian is in my bed
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
