writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
