he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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