It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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