I'm going to jail i love you
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
