She's JV to your varsity
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
