its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
