I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
