I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
They are going to name an STD after you.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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