What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Randomize
