i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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