my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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