Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
