why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
