waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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