mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
