my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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