Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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