i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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