The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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