two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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