There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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