sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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