I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
