We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
