Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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