Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
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he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
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considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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