My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
