i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
